Coping at Christmas

We often hear how this time of year can be a very difficult time for someone affected by cancer. It can intensify already challenging thoughts, feelings and situations which naturally come up while living with a diagnosis of cancer and its treatments.

With this in mind, FORCE has created tips for coping over the Christmas period. You will notice that most of them are relevant and helpful at any time of the year, not just at Christmas.

It is understandable that your entire experience of this season changes. We often hear people say:

Their perspective on life changes after a diagnosis and experiences become more meaningful, particularly at certain times of the year, such as Christmas.
Thoughts might naturally be taken to the past and to the future, which can bring up feelings of uncertainty, anxiety and sadness.
The physical aspects of cancer and its treatments can leave you with low energy and motivation. Fatigue and nausea are two of the common side effects, which can mean you do not feel sociable and have a challenging relationship with food and drink.
This time of year comes with expectations of meeting up with loved ones condensed over a short period of time with lots of food and drink.

So how do you get through it all?

Set realistic expectations – Feeling frustrated is natural when living with the side effects of cancer and its treatments.

Thoughts and activities which have come easily to you before are now challenging and can take immense effort.
Try to be realistic about what you can and cannot do. Prioritise the things that matter and those that don’t. Pace yourself and it is okay to take a break if you need it. Planned rest time before and after events can make a big difference.
Let other people do things for you. Be honest about what you can and cannot do.

Plan – Planning your time can help you gain the balance of what you need in order to do the things you want to.

Make sure you factor rest time, keeping some healthy habits such as eating well, exercising and getting sleep can help to manage stress and emotions.
Remember, your plan may need to be flexible and it is okay to change your mind.
Make sure you have enough of any prescription medicines you need.

Information – Gathering the information you need can help put the mind at rest.

Your doctors and nurses might take time off, so it’s worth finding out beforehand who you should contact if you have a problem and how you can contact them. There will be a doctor and nurse on call.
Familiarise yourself when services are open, such as your GP surgery and pharmacy.
Check with your doctor when you will are expected to get your results if you had tests before the bank holidays. The results might be delayed. Waiting for results is often very difficult emotionally. Knowing when to expect them might make waiting easier.

Communicate – Talking through how you feel with someone close can help.

It can be helpful to talk to loved ones about how you feel. There is no right or wrong way to feel. You might find that partners and family members have some of the same feelings as you.

Their expectations of what they feel you can and cannot do may not be realistic. You may not want to join in with everything, or you may want to join in with more than they think. Which nicely leads to …….

Ask for help – It’s okay to ask for help.

It can be easier said than done, especially if you are used to being the person people turn to for help. People often do not know what to say or do and it can be a relief to hear what they can do from you. Accept help from others and be specific about what they can do for you.

Treat yourself – Christmas is about treats.

Make sure you find some time to do something for you.

It’s okay to break with tradition – It might just be for now or there could be some relief in creating new ones.

Know that it is normal not to want to embrace the holiday spirit. You may need to focus all your energy on going through treatment, surgery or waiting for results. It is okay to feel how you feel and take what you need over this time.

FORCE Oncology Specialist Support Team

Christmas 2022